Saturday, July 2, 2011

My name is Suzan and I'm a $5-aholic

 My beautiful Mom (I have to say that, she reads my blog) thinks this project is a terrible idea.
I told her my plan over lunch before we launched our marathon shopping trip yesterday. Between sips of sangria and chips and salsa, I explained that my stuff was suffocating me and making me miserable. That I have too much of everything, I don't want for anything and I'm tired of sifting through mountains of crap and losing things that are really important to me.
No, the irony is not lost on me.
In all fairness, my mom is usually right about these things. Here is what she said to me:
My dear, fantabulous, talented, smart, witty (why are you laughing!?she totally said this!) daughter, it sounds to me like you do not have a problem with buying things. You have a problem with buying $5 things.
She's completely right!
She also said that I have an attitude of poverty and therefore, when I see items that are only $5, I tell myself that I can afford them so in order to keep myself from feeling poor, I buy said items which really only reinforces my feelings of poverty.
She is seriously deep.
And she hit the nail on the head
But, don't worry faithful readers, I'm not giving up that easy! I'm still going full force into this challenge. What better way to change my attitude of poverty than to examine every purchase that I even want to make for an entire year?  I can stop myself before I purchase those evil little $5 treasures that seem to multiply like cartoon bunnies all over my damn house.
I'm getting carried away again, aren't I?
So, the burning question that you really want to ask is...
What in the world did you buy on your last day of shopping for an entire year?
Well, here it is.

I had a hard time finding things to be totally honest, do you know how many $5 items I could have bought? Do you? I could have filled my trunk.
I bought an awesome 2.5 gallon drink dispenser.(please email me your best sangria recipes) True story, I bought one of these at a garage sale for less than $5 a few years ago that leaked like a sieve. Ask me if I still have it. Ask me. Go on.
Man, this sucks, but it is going to be the cheapest therapy ever.
This may be the  longest post I write,  but I have to tell this story to the world because it kind of sums up my life.
I left all my purchases on the dining room table overnight so that I could take a picture of them for the blog. I had to run out this morning for a few hours, so when I returned home this afternoon to take the picture, I discovered that my cat had thrown up all over the super cute sundress.
Don't 'cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
p.s. No, I do not kiss my mother with this mouth.
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