Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Whistling Dixie

So, yesterday I purchased a rebel flag bikini top on eBay for a costume piece. I felt bad buying something new, but this really does sum up my character nicely. To make up for the purchase, I purged three more items from my closet. Granted, I probably won't keep the costume piece after the run of the show. I can't see when I would wear it again, but it's the principal of the matter. I don't feel any guilt for buying this item since it will be used and then donated. I do think of costumes as a necessity. When I agree to take on a role in community theatre, I understand that finding my own costume is part of the deal.

Sometimes, I will admit to wondering if I am doing the right thing. I still shop for everyone else. It's starting to become hard to not buy myself a little something. I do feel like I am punishing only myself sometimes. Today is especially hard. I have a huge list of errands that involves stopping at a couple of my favorite places: Lowes to get two new plants for the veggie garden and Bed, Bath & Beyond for a final gift on the list for Mr. Challenge.

And yet.

There is nothing that I actually will buy for myself.
It always comes back to this.
I want many things, but nothing that I am willing to compromise the challenge for.

Yes, I know, I can hear some people say that this challenge isn't real because I am still purchasing, but that's the beauty of making your own rules.
I know how much I shopped before. It still seems strange to me to not come in the house most days with my arms full of shopping bags. I would carry them all in, set them on the dining room table and commence with the large task of finding homes for new items that probably should have been left at the stores.
I am enjoying my newfound time.
My home is slowly becoming clearer. Every day I part with a few more items.
So, I will head off to these two stores today with a renewed sense of what I am doing.
I will not feel bad for myself that I can't buy anything.
I will be happy that I have the time to garden and that I am almost completely prepared for a birthday that is still one week away.

My name is Suzan and I have not purchased any unnecessary items for 45 days.

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